What is Parental Alienation? What Australian families should know.
Children of separated parents are often able to maintain a positive and healthy relationship with both parents. Unfortunately, in prolonged and bitter family law disputes it is becoming increasingly common that children are exposed to parental conflict, whether intentional or not. In the most extreme cases, a child can become estranged from one parent.
Here we are going to unpack what to know about this topic answering:
- What is parental alienation?
- What do the behaviours look like?
- What are the symptoms of parental alienation in children?
- Is parental alienation a crime?
- How do the Courts deal with parental alienation?
Importantly, there is ongoing research and developing literature on ‘parental alienation’ to help us all understand alienating behaviours and the symptoms experienced by children who have been subjected to an alienation process.
Parental Alienation or something else?
Parental alienation as a field of psychology has been developing since the early 1990’s. The traditional view of alienation focuses on the alleged parent’s alienating behaviour. It is typically defined as any parental behaviour that disturbs the child’s relationship with the other parent.
Importantly, this is different from Parental Alienation Syndrome which is defined as the programming or brainwashing of a child to denigrate the other parent while the child makes contributions to the denigration.
Parental Alienation in its accurate description, is considered a form of psychological and emotional abuse. Therefore, it is important we make a distinction between deliberate undermining of one parent by the other, in the presence of the child or children, from other common outcomes often described as parental alienation.
More recently, the literature of alienation has been shifting. Now and typically speaking, it is understood that we are dealing with distinct categories of behaviours that lead to something called Parental Alignment, which tends to be collectively referred to as alienation.
However, as you will discover, there are distinctions in meaning that are important for everyone to be aware of.
What Is Parental Alignment?
Parental Alignment, as the name suggests, is when a child forms a closer bond, or aligns with one parent over the other, often after a separation. This may be due to one parent’s behaviours contributing to the alignment or it may be a natural alignment. Where it is not a natural alignment, there are the 3 distinct categories:- Parental Alienation
- Parental Estrangement
- Parental Enmeshment
What is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation is the child’s experience of one parent’s negative emotions, words or behaviours in relation to their other parent. The effect of this is that the child fears, resists or rejects contact with the other parent without reasonable cause. While there is not currently a definition in family law legislation, there is a focus on harmful behaviours that can have a negative impact on a child’s wellbeing.What is Parental Estrangement?
Parental estrangement is a child’s realistic rejection or resistance to a parent due to direct experience of the parent. It may be that the parent had been relatively insensitive, unresponsive, or inappropriate in their parenting behaviours, including acts of family violence. Where a child’s negative reaction to one parent is objectively justifiable and proportionate, that behaviour may constitute estrangement. Estrangement results from genuine issues such as past abuse, neglect and longstanding conflict leading the child to choose to distance themselves from one parent. It often stems from genuine grievances and develops gradually over time.What is Parental Enmeshment?
Parental enmeshment is a term that is used in connection with family law matters involving potential parental alienation. Parental enmeshment involves an unhealthy emotional bond between a child and a parent where personal boundaries are unclear. The emotional entanglement can be seen as manipulation to distort the child’s feelings towards the other parent. This can cause confusion and fear for the child about expressing their affections towards the alienated parent. It is described as a corruption of roles and boundaries between the child and the alienated parent. For example, a child is enlisted as the parent’s ally or caregiver.
Behaviours that may suggest Parental Alienation
When dealing with complex family dynamics in the ‘alienation’ realm, it is nearly always the case that we are dealing with a combination of the above which leads to a child’s alignment with one parent.
Some common behaviour examples that may facilitate parental alignment include:
- A campaign of denigration against the other parent;
- Unfounded rationalisations for the denigration against the other parent;
- Restricting the other parent’s access to information about the child;
- Unilateral suspension of communication between the child and the other parent;
- Unilateral suspension of the child spending time with the other parent;
- Criticising the other parent in front of the child;
- Destroying pictures of the other parent;
- Encouraging conflict between the child and the other parent;
- Using the child to deliver messages to the other parent;
- Making allegations that the child has been abused or subjected to family violence by the other parent despite a lack of evidence;
- Seeking family violence / protection orders listing the child as a protected person without any real basis;
- A parent fostering an irrational fear of the other parent on the child;
- A parent continuously interfering with the time the child spends with the alienated parent;
- A parent exposing the child to unnecessary details of the parents’ separation;
- A parent using the child to spy on the other parent; and
- A parent monitoring communication between the child and the other parent.
There are relatively few cases of pure parental alienation, but many hybrid cases where there is some alienation and some other factors at work, such as realistic estrangement.
How does parental alienation affect children?
What is clear in the research is that any one behaviour which precipitates a child being placed in parental conflict can have devastating consequences for the child’s welfare and development.
The malicious destruction of a parental attachment can be disorientating for children.
Symptoms of a child being exposed to alienating behaviour includes (but it is not limited to):
- Difficulties in transitioning between parents
- Behavioural difficulties
- Intense bonding with the ‘alienating’ parent
- Extreme emotional behaviour
- Regression in their development.
The child will also feel guilt, anxiety, hopelessness and a diminished self-esteem.
How the Court deals with parental alienation
The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia recognises parental alienation as a concerning issue that may impact a child’s developmental, psychological and emotional wellbeing.
Understanding the nuances of parental alienation is critical for families navigating separation in a high conflict context. Such differences can be subtle and may require assessment of qualified medical professionals.
When parental alienation is alleged or identified, the Court may:
- Order a Family Report or a psychological assessment to look at the family dynamics
- Make changes to existing Parenting Orders to avoid any further harm to the child/ren
- Require therapeutic interventions such as Reunification Therapy
- Require parents to undertake parenting courses.
In some cases, where a child’s rejection of a parent is severe, it may be considered too harmful for the child to spend time with that parent. The Court will then need to weigh up the benefits of attempting to re-establish that relationship, and what arrangements align with the child’s best interests.
Related:
What to do if being accused of Parental Alienation
At what age can a child choose where to live?
Whether you are concerned about parental alienation between you and your child, or where you are being falsely accused of engaging in alienating behaviour, contact Nicholls Anzani to explore your options and take pro-active steps to resolution on (02) 7259 4130.
